We could tell that something was bothering Rippy, so we just asked him to spit it out.  

He sighed, and then he laid his hands on the table. "Look... You might think I'm being snoopy, or that I'm just crazy... I just can't shake this feeling."  

"What feeling?"  

"It's this neighbor of mine at the place I just moved in to. He's... weird. Disturbing."  

Sindy and I laughed. "Ok, what is he doing now?"  

"Well, at first I thought it was just men's clothes, and I didn't think much of it."  

"Men's clothes?" asked Sindy.  

"Yeah... Every day at the same time, this guy goes out to the trash and throws away piles of clothing."  

"Maybe he's just sorting through his old clothes?"  

"No... I thought of that, but this has been going on too long. I mean, this is a lot of clothes. It makes me feel creepy somehow."  

"Just men's clothes?" I asked.  

"No, that's the other thing. It's usually women's clothes. And they look new."  

"How do you know that? Ummm... Rippy, are you looking through this guy's trash?"  

Rippy blushed. "I can't help it. It's been driving me crazy. Yes, I looked through his trash. It's right next to mine in the alley behind the house. Anna, I haven't told you the creepiest part." He put out his cigarette, leaned in close and almost whispered. "There was money and ID in the pockets of one of the dresses."  

He pulled out a pocketbook and withdrew a driver's license for a young woman named Diane that we had never heard of. It was out of state.  

Sindy looked pale. "What are you trying to say, Rippy?"  

"I don't know... I'm not sure I even want to say it out loud. It just seems so suspicious."  

"Rippy... you should leave this guy alone. He might be dangerous."  

Rippy lit another cigarette and looked away as he absorbed that with an obsessed look. "I suppose you are right..."  
 

That night, Rippy called me on the phone and left a message on my machine, begging me to come over quickly. I couldn't understand it completely but it had something to do with his new neighbor. That sent a chill through me and I decided to go over.  

Sindy was waiting on his porch and had been knocking for minutes.  

"Isn't Rippy with you?"  

"No. He called me too."  

She hugged herself, worried. We chatted in the cold night air as the moths buzzed our faces under Rippy's porch light.  

"Anna... is that Rippy over there?"  

I looked where she was pointing, and I saw somebody about Rippy's size skulking in the shadows of the house next door."  

"Oh God... I hope he's not drunk again."  

"Come on, let's get him," Sindy said and led me off.  

Rippy was crouching low, holding a camera and looking through a crack in his neighbor's window when we approached him. He practically jumped in the air, but relaxed a little when he realized who it was.  

"Rippy..."  

"Shhh... Whisper!"  

I whispered. "Rippy, what's going on?"  

"Don't make any noise... I'm trying to get proof."  

Sindy was getting impatient. "I'm cold", she said out loud. "I can't believe you called us over here to be peeping toms..."  

Just then there were signs of motion through the window and we all became still and silent, watching. A man was singing the theme song from Gilligan's Island at the top of his voice while he dragged a very heavy looking rolled up carpet across the floor and towards an open cellar door. Rippy pointed and gestured for us to look closely. As the carpet disappeared behind him down the cellar, I was sure I saw the chilling sight of a woman's foot and shoe sticking out of the end of the carpet, it's heel thumping across the steps.  

Rippy tried to snap a picture and then cursed under his breath as the camera jammed.  

"Rippy? What the hell is going on?"  

He looked us both in the eyes and said, "I think he's killing people."  
  

We sat in Rippy's kitchen, drinking coffee again and peeking every once in a while through his drapes at the neighboring house.  

"I have to get proof. Nobody will believe me."  

"Why not?"  

"Because normal people don't peep through other people's windows," Sindy pointed out very rationally.  

"But Sindy, I saw that shoe too!"  

"I don't want to believe it. We're misunderstanding something."  

I sighed, confused. "I know. I don't want to get involved in this either."  

Rippy was pacing the floor, obsessed. I knew that neither of us would convince him to leave it alone.  

Then Sindy had an idea. "Why don't we all have a threesome? That will take his mind off of this!"  

"Good idea!"  

We fucked and sucked for an hour. After a dozen orgasms each and a quick shower, Rippy was back to obsessing and chain smoking. I sighed.  

"I have to go over there now. That girl might still be alive."  

"If you do that, I'm going home," Sindy said, putting on her clothes and heading for the door.  

"Rippy, I'm scared."  

"Maybe you should go home too."  

"Well, if you go, I'll go with you." What a mashuganah.  
  

After making sure the neighbor wasn't in the front room, we opened the front door with a credit card and tiptoed in. Rippy looked left and right, then gestured for me to follow him back. The door to the cellar lay open and we could hear the singing.  

"The ships aground on this, uncharted desert isle..."  

"He sounds deranged," I whispered.  

Rippy clutched his now fixed camera in his hand as he very carefully tiptoed a few steps down the stairs. I trembled, uncertain whether I should follow, but at last I gave in to my curiosity and my fear for my friend.  

It was dark at first. I couldn't believe how huge this guy's cellar was. It seemed to go on forever, like some Roman catacomb.  

"The millionaire, and his wife..."  

Rippy pointed to a bundle of clothing against one wall.  

The only light came from the end of a long hallway, the same direction as the singing. We tried to sneak as gracefully as we could toward the light, even though the stone walls could make our most careful tiptoeing sound like humongous stomps.  

Rippy peeked around the corner first, and stopped, stunned.  

I was afraid to ask him what it was, but he told me anyway. "He's not here!"  

"What? That can't be. I hear him!"  

There was tape playing the Gilligan's Island song in a loop on the tape machine.  

"Rippy! He could be anywhere! We need to get out of here now!"  

We were in an enormous, cavernous room. There were enormous vats of something boiling that smelled horrible. A pile of dead bodies lay on the floor, most of them nude. It was then I saw and smelled the blood that was running everywhere, splashing on our shoes. I started to scream, but Rippy put his hand over my mouth and kept me quiet.  

Just then we heard the sound of something soft, dragging across the hallway floor behind us.  

Rippy grabbed me and looked me in the eye, whispering, "Quick. There is no time. Just do what I do."  

He pulled his clothes off as quickly as he could. I tried to do the same, listening as the soft mushy sound came closer. I was down to my black thigh highs, heels and sheer black panties, and Rippy was down to his boxers with the little hearts when we heard a voice begin to sing along with the tape.  

"The first mate and the skipper too, will do their very best..."  

Rippy dived into the pile of bodies. I squinted my eyes and pinched my nose and dived in, feeling the cold blood dripping on my white skin. We were motionless as Rippy's neighbor walked in, dragging the body of a beautiful young woman, clad only in bra and panties, bound and gagged with duck tape. She was trying helplessly to scream and shake herself loose. He dragged her over to the pile that we lay in, and dumped her on top of Rippy and me. Her hysterical eyes and duct-taped mouth were right next to mine. I could see she was insanely afraid, as was I.  

What has Rippy got me into, I wondered? Would we get out of this alive?  

Now Rippy's neighbor was jerking on something. My heart nearly stopped as I realized that it was a chainsaw. He was trying to jumpstart it, but it wouldn't work. He cussed softly. My teeth chattered.  

"Oh well, I guess I'll have to work low-tech tonight," he said, reaching for an axe and walking our way. The girl winced.  

He laid the girl on the floor. I tried to play dead (literally) and yet see what was happening out of the corner of my eye. She was on her back, her hands taped behind her, her ankles and knees taped, kicking on the floor as he spit on his hands and raised the axe. I heard the moan through the tape as he brought the axe down, cutting her head off. It rolled across the floor like a lumpy bowling ball. The blood gushed in my face and hair and I tried not to sob. I couldn't see anything!  

Then I felt and heard Rippy leaping to his feet and struggling with the lunatic. I sat up and mopped the blood from my eyes. I saw the blue flash as Rippy fell down. Then he wheeled on me and I felt my entire body jerk in pain. I fell unconscious.  
  

When I came to, Rippy and I were duct-taped together. His neighbor was oiling his chainsaw, his stun gun by his side. I thought I couldn't possibly become more afraid, but as I saw the stunned and fearful expression in Rippy's eyes, I found new depths of despair. I sobbed through the tape.  

"Ah... somebody is awake I see!" said the killer as he heard my whimpering.  

He pulled the gag from our mouths and looked at us, amused. "Howdy, neighbor!"  

"You insane bastard..." Rippy started to say.  

He moved his head close to ours. "At least I'm not a fucking peeping tom." He continued to oil his chainsaw. "I guess you were curious about my little business."  

"Business?" I gasped out.  

"Yes dear, business. You don't think I do this for enjoyment, do you? He waved to the pile of bodies for emphasis.  

"Why are you doing this?"  

He looked at his equipment and shrugged. "Did you ever hear of Krazy Glue?"  

"Yes. I use it on my nails."  

"Well, the most important ingredient is a very closely held secret."  

Rippy exclaimed, "You don't mean..."  

The man nodded and pointed to the vats. He got up and went to pick up the head of the dead girl and tossed it like a basketball up and into the vat. It landed inside with a splash and a cloud of fumes. The bubbling resumed, more loudly.  

"I thought they made glue from horses," I mumbled.  

"No... We tried that, honestly. There are a couple of reasons we can't do that. The first reason is that it's just not as effective. This is a real cutthroat business." He thought about his own words and then laughed out loud.  

"What's the other reason?"  

"Horses cost too much."  

"Oh."  

What am I saying? I thought. I'm worth more than a horse. This guy was pissing me off.  

"You're just an insane, sick bastard!"  

"Um, Anna," Rippy whispered.  

"You're cruel and heartless and cheap too!"  

The man looked at me, angry. He knitted his brows and clenched his fist.  

"I saw your hands, bitch. You use press-ons. It's hypocrites like you that make it easier for me to do this kind of job."  

"Yes, but I didn't know they killed and tortured people to make this stuff!"  

"Umm... Anna..." Rippy whispered.  

"Shut up, Rippy. You got me into this shit."  

Rippy was sweating and looked scared. I knew I was pissing off the man that had us in his powers, but he had set me off.  

"Listen, that does it." He put the chainsaw down. "I actually try not to be cruel, but you've got me mad. I thought decapitation was sort of humane, all things considered."  

"You're not human."  

He trembled with anger.  

"Oh, so you think you could do it more humanely?" He laughed. "I'll teach you a lesson."  

He opened a cabinet and showed us all the instruments of torture and death that he had. Bright shiny steel, dull iron, rough leather. I swallowed hard. Rippy moaned.  

He fondled some of the more curious and frightening tools of his trade.  

"Which ones do you like? Choose wisely."  

Rippy spoke. "I think this has all been a big mistake. Don't you, Anna? I think Krazy Glue is a wonderful invention..."  

"I'll tell you what I'm going to do. Since you two like each other so much, I'll let you two choose among yourselves who will die first. But listen carefully." He leaned in close and lowered his voice. "Whoever dies last will die a horrible and lingering death. I can make it last for hours, for days." He looked us in our eyes. "If either of you want to spare your friend from a horrible death, you'll do him a favor and kill him yourself. Anyway you choose is fine with me, but it will be by your own hand." He made eye contact with me as he said, "And now we'll see just how humane you are."  

Rippy sobbed.  

"I'll go first," I volunteered.  

"Then Rippy will have to kill you. Ask him to."  

Rippy looked at me stunned. "No. I want to go first! I can't stand pain."  

"Well I can't stand it either! Besides, I thought you fantasized about killing girls."  

"But... I don't think I could kill you, Anna!"  

"Listen, you got me into this you know. Besides, you're a guy."  

"Yeah, but you use Krazy Glue and I don't."  

"What? You were kissing his ass a minute ago. You thought it was a neat product then! Besides, I hate your fucking cigarettes." I turned to the killer. "Let me kill him. I think I'll enjoy it."  

Suddenly Rippy snapped out of his fear and felt brave. "Anna, you don't have to be the one to suffer. I'm sorry. I can't let a woman suffer. I can make it painless."  

"You just know I'm going to make you suffer now," I told him.  

He seemed stunned by that. "Ummm... I meant I'd kill you first as a favor."  

"I didn't." I turned to the killer. "I want to kill Rippy with a cheese grater."  

I saw Rippy wince.  

"Cheese grater?" he asked. He seemed surprised by that. All of those torture instruments and he never thought of that. "I think I have one upstairs in the kitchen. I'll be right back."  

As he headed for the hall he called back, "Hey, this could be interesting. Oh this is the tale of our castaways..."  

"Gilligan's Island sucks!" I yelled.  

"Ok, I can sing something else. "Dadadadadadada Batman..." he sang as he vanished from view.  

Rippy looked upset. "Anna, you have to get a grip. We're in a really crappy situation."  

"No shit."  

"I mean you have to get a hold of your temper. If we're going to survive this, we have to pull together. I was trying to tell you that."  

I sighed. He was right. I'm a bitch.  

"Well, what's your plan?"  

"Ok, listen. Whoever does the killing, he's going to have to untie their hands, right?"  

"Yeah."  

"Ok... Here's what you do..."  
 

"Batman dadadada Batman dadada Batman... Hey, I'm back!"  

"I'm so glad. I was getting worried."  

He smiled and showed me the cheese grater.  

"So where do I get started?" He was holding the grater over Rippy's nose.  

"No no... I want to do it. Pwease?"  

"Man, you're bloodthirsty."  

"You said that was part of the deal. Are you backing out?"  

"No... Be my guest!" He turned me around and yanked the duct tape off my wrists. I yelped and rubbed my wrists.  

Now was my chance. I grabbed the stun gun. Rippy's neighbor held up the metal cheese grater to protect himself but I just shocked the cheese grater, which conducted the electricity, of course. He fell over in a lump.  
 

After I untaped Rippy, we glued the killer's hands together behind his back. Then we did the same with his feet and knees and lips. He looked so pathetic when he came to, struggling and trying to open his mouth to scream. Rippy laughed as I grated his nose just a little bit while singing Batman.  

Meanwhile, Rippy found the guy's books.  

"Wow, I can't believe how much money they make in the glue business. Look at this. This guy must have been raking it in! I wish I had thought of something like this."  

"What do you mean?"  

"Well, think of all the interesting people you get to meet,  

Rippy didn't trust the justice system to take care of the killer, so we hauled him up the ladder and pushed him into the glue vat. He looked up at us with this pitiful expression just before he fell in.  

Sindy and I don't see Rippy as much anymore. He seems to be making a killing in some new business.